Friendship

Not sure why this bothers me so much but may as well get it off my chest.

I have been crook with some kind of infection lately, not sure wot as the doc says all is clear. Beats me why my belly is all swollen & my back hurts though.

That is just really background and this all started when I realised that I had not received my area fan back from council. I just figured I could go and get it, you know wot I mean.

I went to the office and asked M if she would mind collecting it for me. She had a cursory look and then shrugged her shoulders saying, 'they must have chucked it out when they did the tag and testing'.

I was not real impressed with that and advised M of this and that I would like to have the fan back no matter wot. It was my fan so I was entitled to pick it up.

M shrugged again and said, 'well I suppose I will see wot I can do'. Great now I was upset. Dont ask me why but suddenly the fuc**n thing seemed real important.

I left the office and veged at a friends office a couple of doors away. Talked about other stuff, not sure wot.

I was still really upset later so I thought, hell I will ring Blue Fairy and get it off my chest - that'd be have a whinge in English.

Wot I didnt expect was to be chewed out by Blue Fairy. I know as friends you put up with some shit from each other - more than others may - but not get chewed out. By the way this is the friend I discussed retrieving my fan from council with before I went. She was also a little blase about the whole thing but I told her it was important to me.

So she ranted on about how I had no right to 'expect' M to search for my fan and that it had probably been thrown out anyway so bad luck. I hung up at this point coz I just didnt need this.

Now I havent spoken to her since last week and really I am questioning why I am friends with her. I just dont know. I have even gone to the extent of deleting her emails - when any arrived and screening all calls so that I dont have to talk to her.

Purile I know. I think I am disappointed in her response. This is mostly because every time she has been upset I have listened to her, nodded in sympathy and even made suggestions but never have accused her of being totally wrong - even if I thought it - I have usually just gotten her to calm down and then discuss strategies of how to cope with whatever the problem is.

Is it so selfish that I would expect the same? Even if I was wrong.

I called the office the next day and apoligised to M. She seemed to accept the apology at first and then told me that she didnt want to know. Right ok I get the point.

I guess I may forgive Blue Fairy eventually but I am not sure when.