Today was HOT

Well today was full of excitement. The MMW managed to put up the gutter with Sparky's able assistance on Thursday nite, so he finished attaching everything to it and then painted the guttering green. Rivetting stuff I know but it looks grouse! Tomorrow (or rather today) I will paint the panels and Sparky, MMW and the Apprentice (my son Scott) will clean up the mess the MMW & MW made clearing the jungle in front of the the wall/gutter/facia that we are doing up. Ya no, aside from the new paint I bought this has all cost nothing. Thats pretty groovy I reckon.

We are going to bed now coz we are stuffed!

The Apprentice has had a bad week, bit of a dust up with his flatmate. That is the trouble moving in with mates, they are better friends when they live somewhere else.

This guy though is the Biggest Slob in the World (BSW). He lets his dog shit and piss everywhere. Gawd! If the fucken thing shits in front of him he wont smell it until someone, usually the Apprentice, tells him to pick it up.

Apparently the dust up was about the BSW turning up the music at 11pm on a work nite and not allowing anyone else in the house to sleep. The Apprentice yelled and yelled and finally .... he puffed the house down... no no... the house was then quiet. They have already had a noise complaint from the neighbors.

Anyway the Apprentice doesnt like talking to me about it but with the MMW (his Opa) is here & he feels he can discuss it without any problems. It is best he talks it out as he very angry at present. Cant say I blame him.

Well since I have started this post the MWW has gone home having completed his mission of maintain and repair. God he's a good Dad!

And also the Apprentice has been given an eviction notice to leave his humble abode due to the loving presence of his flatmate. With friends like that who needs enemies. Hey.

What the hell was I thinking....??

Well for the past couple of weeks I have been making attempts to tidy up stuff around the house. I am not talking about housework either. I have started painting the facia boards as two of the corners were looking pretty bad - and no amount of nagging was getting Phil (my other half) out there to do the job. His comment was that we should just pay someone. Well hello Phil, we aint got no money honey! Remember? I am not working sweetie pie. Ah well it is nice to live in a dream world. Not that I can talk I am really enjoying being at home.

So anyways back to maintenance, I am attempting to paint the facia boards, trouble is I have trouble staying on one job so I have a lot of half done jobs.

Funny thing happened on Tuesday though. I thought I would also do some of the facia on the carport and wotyano the bloody gutter was hanging on by a wing and prayer and when the Maintenance Wizard (myself) went to bang one of the BLOODY nails in, it fell off.

I nearly fell off the ladder larfing. Oh god I am glad no one was there the swearing was pretty colorful. Funny thing is I realised then that the gutter had to be taken off to paint underneath coz it hadnt been done since Noah was a boy.

I showed Phil that nite and he said I'd done a good job. Yeh a blind man would be glad to see it I am sure. I wont give up my day job.... hang on, wot day job??!

Actually once I put the undercoat on half of it I stood back and thought well maybe I am a Maintenance Wizard, coz if I squint it looks like a bought one. Bloody beauty. I am sure I will get better at it, specially the painting part. You wouldnt want to stand underneath me when I am atop a ladder, painting coz I dont care where the paint goes as long most of it hits where I want it! The purple flowers & green grass have highlights of white now (nice), ah well they'll grow out of it.

Well anyway to help me finish everything I have started, the Master Maintenance Wizard (that'd be my dad) has arrived to rescue me from any further damage to the environment. He reckons it takes half a day to locate everything before he can start working on anything!

MMW is pretty good 'cept if he makes a mistake it just a technical failure which can be solved creatively. Thats like if the door is crooked you make the doorway fit it? Yeh, well maybe thats where I get me slap dash - dodgy brothers approach to maintenance from. Its better than no maintenance at all and I only touch the little stuff, like paint or put a screw in the wall.

Sparky (Phil) is wonderful round the house. MMW noticed that all the power points he has put in are hanging off the wall in the carport, How come he asked. Come on!!! I responded, I cant do everything. Like the old saying marry a tradesman and he will never do anything related to his field around the house.

Sparky is a pretty relaxed kinda guy and I wouldnt have him any other way, trouble is if he slowed down any more he'd be stopped!!

Well I know the MMW will be needing me soon - like he has been up since sparrow fart - so I'd better get some duds on and then MMW and MW can work on the wot needs to be done, cuss n swear and larf lots. Wot fun.

thats it today, cheers big ears - same goes big nose, toodles chrissie

Blue Fairy & I

Well this past week was a surprise. No not really as our little plan worked. Blue Fairy no longer has as many problems as before and added bonus, I no longer get any heavy breathing calls.

I forgot to tell you about that, just too excited about telling stories about Captain Underpants.

Along with the suspected dilly dallyings on Max (Blue Fairy's work computer), we also suspected that Captain Underpants was make a few extra curricula phone calls during the day. I would receive a few calls during the week, with of course your standard heavy breather on the end. I dont think he ever came, cos there were no grunts or heavy sighs, just breathing. 'Sides I dont think he could find his Rooster Toe (micro penus for the uneducated). I am unsure why I came to the conclusion that the calls were from him but I was sure of it. They all had this criteria:

• they were either at about 9-10 am or around 3pm every time
• they always occurred during business hours
• they occurred Mon to Fri
• I could hear breathing - nothing else except for the occasional muffled background noise
• they rarely lasted longer than 1 minute

Anyway another successful week. I have received my docs for the payout now and ... well , I guess the cheques in the mail.

toodles, chrissie

Taking a Pay Out

I am chomping at the bit, actually I'm biting my nails, waiting for a pay out from my not so current problem. Well it is current but has been coming for soOOOo long.

I have devised with a friend a plan. This plan is to freak out my 'soon to be ex-boss'. So far so good.

Last week as a joke, we started emailing each other and making up stories about job offers and other really exciting stuff that isnt happening. My pies da resistance on Friday was a message sent to my friend (Blue Fairy) saying, 'Hi Captain Underpants (thanks Blue Fairy for the name), how are you today?' God I love upsetting the apple cart!

I know that this sounds silly but prior to sending this message, Blue Fairy n I have assumed Captain Underpants has been reading our electronic correspondence. Controversial and very unprofessional, 'specially as he is not reading other staff email'. Ok we were just being paraniod.

Well it hasnt been without reason. Blue Fairy's computer has been playing up a lot lately, just with a lot of little things - not much on its own. By Friday last week IT had managed to clean up Blue Fairy's computer and she now did not have to use four times as many passwords as anyone else. By gones were by gones and all was forgiven.

Following my message of hello to Captain Underpants on Friday, Blue Fairy was catching up on her tooth collection and using her work computer (Max) to write to more of her clients on Saturday. And wotya no! her computer requested that she again sign on many times, and playing funny bug**rs with her. She couldnt even print the snap shots of her little friends when they were sell-ebrating (a little rowdily I mite add - I was there)! Mien Got! Ach du lieber, wos musterden?, the Blue Fairy asked Max. Further cursing in any language would be considered inappropiate.

We now deduce that we are being WATCHED!!!